Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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