but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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