I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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