It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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