so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
