Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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