i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
