the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize