I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
