she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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