Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
