ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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