Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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