Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
