All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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