I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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