Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
