how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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