in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
