Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
