real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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