Sponge bath it is.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
