Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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