I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
