Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
