I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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