i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
