it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
