You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
