Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
