we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
