I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Panties = found
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize