Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
