3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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