ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
