She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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