Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
