im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize