does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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