there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize