Pappa wants mamma naked
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
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I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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