Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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