Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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