How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
