I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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