it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
