so that wasnt chicken after all
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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