i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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