No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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