omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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