I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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