it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
