Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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