twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize