I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
