he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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