But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
